


Reflected In You

by ladyhavilliard



Category: Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, High School AU, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 14:32:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17899922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyhavilliard/pseuds/ladyhavilliard
Summary: As she sits on the grass with Rowan, Aelin remembers their journey from enemies to best friends… to perhaps even something more?





	Reflected In You

Aelin had known him for a year.

During that time she had gone from despising Rowan to being his closest friend. She had gone from being utterly broken and sad to being happy, to being okay. Sure, she still hadn’t healed completely. Perhaps she never would. Sam’s death body, the sly smile of the man who had taken his life away… Those images still haunted her in her dreams. But now, there were nights where the nightmares didn’t come. There were moments when she could smile and laugh because she feeled like it, not because she needed to pretend in front of her friends.

And all of it had happened because of him.

Rowan had moved from Wendlyn to her hometown Orynth last year. Not only did he go to the same school, just one year older, but of course he had to be in Aedion’s class and become his friend. So he hung out with them quite a lot. She couldn’t stand him at first. Every time they were in the same room, they would shout at each other, often things none of their friends wanted to hear.

The first time they talked, not growled at each other, but actually talked, was when they met in the graveyard.

_That_ _day should have been Sam’s eightteenth birthday. She visited his grave, leaving a small knife charm as a present. She sang_ _for him, tears sliding down her cheeks, the words lost between sobs._

_And then Rowan came._

_“Aelin?” Surprise laced his words, but there was something unfamiliar in his voice. Something vulnerable._

_“Leave” was all she said. No “Buzzard”, no treating to bury him alive. He had never seen her so… broken. Now that her mask had fallen, he couldn’t stay away._

_“Go away. Right now I won’t stand you making fun of me.”_

_“Never again.”_

_She was tired. She couldn’t find the strenght to tease him, fight him, to do anything._

_But there was no need to._

_When Aelin turned around, what she faced caught her unprepared._

_Rowan held a bouquet of wild flowers in his hands, clutching to it as though it meant everything to him. His usual proud posture was gone, he looked as if the weight of the world hung on his shoulders. And his eyes…_

_They were just as empty as her own._

_“Who did you lose?” she asked this man, unknown yet so familiar._

_Her own reflection._

_“The only one who ever cared for me.”_

Not anymore, Aelin thought as she looked up at the stars, her hot chocolate warming her hands. She rested her head on Rowan’s shoulder and took a sip from her cup.

“Fenrys is throwing another party next week” he said. “Are you going?”

Aelin shook her head, her golden hair falling into her eyes.

The last one had been an absolute disaster, though she couldn’t tell him that. Not without revealing why.

_They both were drunk when Lysandra suggested playing seven minutes in heaven. The whole idea was to get Elide and Lorcan together, so no one had to deal with the sexual tension around them for the rest of the night. To make Lorcan play, she had to convince Rowan_ _, too._

_Lucky as she was, she just had to end up locked in the closet with him._

_Usually she wouldn’t mind. It was a dark small place, but they could just talk like they always did._

_Except she couldn’t._

_The moment he opened his mouth to say something, her lips were on his, her body moving impossibly closer to him._

_He returned her kiss_ _, his hands roaming_ _all over her, exploring._

_Was that how a kiss was supposed to feel like? It wasn’t like the sweet kisses she had shared with Sam, nor was it like Dorian’s teasing ones or Chaol’s heated kisses that always turned to make out sessions. No, it was something so much more. It was making her heart beat faster then she thought possible. It was making her mind_ _go blank, the only things she could think of were the sweet scent of Rowan, of mint and pine trees, the feeling of his body_ _pressing against hers and the painful realization that she might never get enough of him. It was a needing, passionate kiss, that didn’t only make her want his body. It made her want all of him._

But the next day he didn’t mention it. Two weeks later, it was as if that kiss had never happened. And it hurt. It hurt more than it should.

“No more parties” Aelin said, pushing the memory away.

Rowan looked at her with worry in his gaze. Had her voice trembled without her noticing? Or did he know her so well that he could feel the change in her?

“What are you thinking?” Rowan asked, facing her completely.

“I’m not sure I can be your friend anymore.” The words left her lips before she could stop them.

“What do you mean?”

His silver hair shone in the moonlight and Aelin wanted to stare at it for all eternity. But looking him in his eyes… She was scared of what she might find there once the words were out, so she turned her gaze back to the stars.

“The kiss we shared at the last party… I can’t stop thinking about it. At first I thought that maybe it would feel different when I’m sober. But every time you touch me, even if you just accidentally brush your hand against mine, I know that what we have will never be enough. That I’ll always long for it, long for you. But I’m just a friend to you. You’ll never want me like that”

Rowan placed his hands on her cheeks, gently making her look at him.

“Don’t you ever say that again, Fireheart. Don’t put words into my mouth when they’re not at all true. You healed me. You made me feel alive again. You made me find happiness again. I see all of you and want it all. I want you, light and dark, good and bad. And I’ll keep wanting you until those stars fade away into nothing and we’re long ago gone.”

She had imagined this conversation hundreds of times this past few days, picturing many different reactions. Sometimes he kissed her. Sometimes he walked away. Sometimes they talked and agreed to remain friends. But never had she imagined he’ll react this way. She had never dared to even hope. Those words, the promise they held, woke up emotions she never knew someone could feel. They were more powerful than the kiss, once again leaving her breathless.

Aelin lifted her hand and placed it on his cheek, her cup of hot chocolate long ago forgotten beside her. What was okay and what was too much? She didn’t know, didn’t care. When she traced his lips with her thumb, they were so soft and warm under her skin, that she almost missed how his body tensed from her movements.

Maybe she should stop this before it’s too late. But then…

“ _Aelin_ ” _,_ his voice was thick with emotion and she looked up to meet his eyes. She was grateful that they were sitting on the grass, either way her legs would’ve betrayed her at the need she saw there. It was something she knew was mirrored on her own face, too.

“What do you want me to do, Rowan?” Aelin wanted the question to sound like a teasing, but her voice failed her, coming out quiet and hoarse. Yet somehow she didn’t care at all.

“You said you wondered whether it will feel the same way if you kissed me when you’re sober” Rowan whispered, leaning closer to her. She could feel his breath against her skin, his short hair tickling her forehead. The space between them was too much. “What about we find out?”


End file.
